attachment with the detachment

Ever touched the morning dew, spread over the grass ... its attached to it deeply yet with a natural detachment that can be simply triggered of by a slight gust of wind. Your voice has been mesmerizing .. I see you everywhere .. my eyes look for you in all things.. sweetheart i don’t know if i should say this .. i think you are the reason for my heartbeat.. there’s silence with your thoughts in all frames of mind .. i want to be with you for the rest of my life .. will you pitch your life for me my love ...

Wondering what was all that? Could be your story? Confess it dear .. there’s no one around its just you and ma blog.. haven’t you felt this or told this to your beloved??? Its everyone’s story dear!..

:) cant say if all that is true .. it might just be a different expression in your case yet it all summarizes to one meaning .. you love the other being deeply and want to capture all those moments. Life was never as beautiful, the morning sun looks brighter, its all so new .. so energizing.. finding reasons to be with the other being in all possible times .. finding reasons to prove whatever the other being does is right .. increasing intimacy.. as if its all we ever wanted.

... I was never aware of any of those forces, for i deeply believe in what i see. It just happened. I was just driven towards you. You said me something i faintly remember, cuz at that moment what caught my attention was the aggression of a young handsome hunk. Wasnt moved at the first sight, I remember it was never the first sight. Random set of interactions I think were the reason making my grey cells a lil active for i started thinking .. started on the voyage of my imagination of being with you. Process gets mature with time and so it did. Conversations, longing, sharing, being together. Ohh yes dear do you remember the first time i moved out with you out of the cafe, we never held hands though .. nor did i speak.. You were speaking. Dont mind dear i wasnt listening, it was the strange looks of the people round us that made me a lil uncomfortable. Being a girl has a disadvantage.. i realize it now. They look up to you with not so comfortable thoughts some driven by a way to be by my side. I wonder is that what all men want ! . .. I believed you never did. Days passed on as we came closer .. bunking classes at all possible times .. carving thoughts of fantasy in the green lawns just below. Probably it took me quite a bit of time to come to a conclusion that it cant be infatuation, may be that i loved you. I liked you .. and feel the same even today. Little did i know we would part ways.

I dint pick up calls, didn’t call you at times, not because I didn’t want to ... but there was something else always.... You had problems, with all i did. Quite often you were pissed off i guess .. How do i explain my feelings, am just bound by words. May be i couldn’t understand you .. Is it possible that you never tried to? I cant ask for you being a man is always right, they say. You walked off blaming me for what I am .. never understanding .. never trying to mend things. How do i tell you what love is? You say i aint romantic.. Dont you think its sharing? sacrifice? faith? ... I wanted to share everything with you .. not just problems .. but my happiness .. But how do i share it? You are my happiness and you are with yourself. My morning used to start with your thoughts and you were there in my evenings. What happened .. what made you so rude.. it hurts me deep in my skin. My lips go dry longing to be with thy lips. I call you to say travel safe and you think am trying to show that am being more careful about you...

You promised me things.. Dear dont you think we saw a life .. a span of being together .. for each other. There might have been a billion things in me which you dont like and there might be a million things in you which i hate.. but how do i tell you i wanted to take all that for i wanted to be with you. You were all i had. Yet with increasing time since we have spoken a fear has overtaken me.. am becoming hard with time. My deep love for the attachment we had is on the verge of extinction... Detachment has started giving me solace. Things wont change.. You will live so will I .. with our fates .. You will be far off .. what might not change is the streaks of love you have left on me. I am sure you cant erase that either. Things wont change! .. I wonder .. If I can ever fall in love again .. if i can ... for that’s the fear.

What was my mistake i sometimes wonder when i sit with my loneliness.. there was a morning .. a bright morning when we met and there was a dream with you by my side amidst the mountains where all's green. That was a dream ... Dear i dont know how it goes for you .. but for me its always been a longing .. a longing for conversations .. for a glance .. for some moments of your presence. I understand and try to engage my thoughts to go far from you yet, its becoming increasingly harder to engage it .. your absence has overthrown my ability to think logically.. for its driven towards ...

Am just a girl who believed in love for the first time, for I dreamt ... I loved attachment. I still but with an increasing affinity towards detachment. If i ever own the right to ask you a thing it would probably be why? I might not wait for an answer yet ...

Amforked has come across people who say there can never be anything called love .. its mere attraction which lasts for a stipulated time. Infact there cant be love they say. Its lust probably. Yet in these people i see a longing the way amforked's got in himself. Yet they tend to believe that love is all false. Everyone exists and is connected because of a selfish reason. Thats dependency. It could be true. Dear do you think its true? Might be that i talk to you cuz there could be a selfish interest of being happy the moment i listen to you. I dont know. I still dream of her soft palm and those inquisitive eyes looking into mine with the lips going damp, on a date!! .. hehehe may be for a selfish reason .. may be for a reason which is so true. Cant say. For me its an attachment with detachment dear and it does hurt at times... It will not be Amforked's story! It will be the dream. It will be your story. There comes a point in life where you come across somebody who touches you deep inside like no one had done ever before.. can you hold it? can you be with it? do we just leave it for reasons so small? can you write your destinies.... or do you take a short tour of falling in love with what you get .. detachment. Attachment or detachment is the choice we might have to make. Choice again hahahahaha.