it aint always fun

You stand there alone with the projector light hitting your face. There are people sitting right in front of you all listening to whatever you speak. Faults are unacceptable. I am reminded of Rohit, a smart guy, i met a couple of months back, who used to come up to me and ask for an opportunity to deliver a lecture. He never had a reason why he wanted to do so. It was quite hard for me to make him realize that you got to have a reason for being here .. on the opposite side of those enlightened minds seated in front of you. That reason stronger than anything else would probably make you different.

A reason strong enough to convince you to work hard and deliver. I have always believed in the simple fact, things have to be simple down the line .. no matter how complex they look from above they ought to start simple somewhere. Being a trainer you have a greater responsibility. It stands incomplete till you trigger that creative instinct in any of those hungry minds, which might force some other start-up's. It never happens by force or facts alone, probably you got to make it simple .. and that’s where things don’t remain funnie anymore. Its you who has to see the system as a whole comprehend .. discover similar analogies and potray it .. making them rethink on whatever they have been assuming! It aint always fun ..

As usual i am standing in one of such situations, in kolkata! People from various backgrounds .. some loving redhat .. some trying to decipher packets! .. one doing a masters .. quite a few innocent minds .. We talk about different aspects of security. You say a thing .. there would be N forces getting you down .. you got to make your point .. prove it right with all facts.

Its 8 hour long each day, i hop around across the floor, hands move around .. i stop in the middle! .. wonder what has this guy just asked .. can i create an analogy .. try to get my idea across .. they wonder .. the are dissatisfied .. one pops up .. says wow .. i never thought of that! ..its different each day ;)

Am off for the day at 9:30 in the night. Got some 12 hrs before the next session, with a lot more to come. Got to read and understand the WHOLE on my own. There’s no one beside me to let me know it, you got to push your d''k to limits and get that done else you dont do just to your job! Even that hurts. You realize the systems are not so simple .. its got N dependencies and each dependency a system in itself .. getting an overview as my mentor says, would make it simple but when you are standing up there they don’t expect an overview! They expect fact.

The sandclock's moving hard. The cells ringing you .. dont pick it up. Ahh finally towards dawn you start understanding a part of the whole. Its been a long night. Probably you can deliver it. The day starts and you stand there again .. for making it simple! You have spent N nights to decipher things on your own .. no one was ever there to let you know .. you understand that .. you make it simple and display it across .. yet people dont get that simplicity at times .. they need more .. some do and give back the wow factor! Faces with unsatisfied looks .. force you to rethink on your state .. how do i make this guy realise the beauty?

I cant do much i guess .. may be am approaching my limits .. i dont know .. all i can do is smile back and let things go as they move for I cannot be that agent to infuse things to their brains or force them to see it all from my perspective. It has to differ and it will. Some will accept and some complain. Things have to move on till they realize the beauty for themselves.

My lips grow tired .. the hand movement stops .. Projectors growing hotter .. time's approaching 9:30 PM .. i lean on wall look at those dissatisfied and wonder .. man if at all I had a mentor who could have ever sat down beside me and explained it my way .. for i wasn’t that fortunate. For i was never given a chance to complain. For i was never allowed to sit on the other side with expectations.

Yet those small instances of "WOW factor" .. keep you fresh and moving .. letting you work harder .. at time portraying the SIMPLICITY that lies in the GREAT COMPLEXITY.